Last week I accidentally left some ‘lorem ipsum’ text in the newsletter and got a question about what it meant. If you know what it means, then take it easy this three day weekend ok???

Let’s begin!

What’s going on here:

Even easier than the semi-realistic recipes!!!

Frozen grapes. wash a bunch of grapes, use the grape cutter if you have anxiety like I do, dump them in the freezer. they turn into little sorbet things, no drip, no melting.

Watermelon fries. cut the watermelon into long spears instead of cubes so there's a handle. tajin if your kids can handle it.

Walking tacos. individual Fritos or Doritos bags, scrunch them up, tear open the top, dump in taco meat and cheese and whatever, eat with a fork straight out of the bag while you walk the neighborhood and watch fireworks (if that’s the kind of neighborhood you live in)

If you're skipping the actual fireworks show this year (valid, the parking alone), the move is to put the little ones down BEFORE it gets dark, get them sleeping for a solid 40 minutes first, and then crank the sound machine to about shower-running volume. A second sound machine out in the hallway catches the booms before they reach the room.

Why it works: kids who hit deep sleep before the first boom are way harder to startle awake, and steady white noise masks the sudden pops so nothing jolts them out of it.

Source: Taking Cara Babies — Babies and Fireworks.

PS if you ARE going somewhere loud, $15 baby/toddler earmuffs could help

What does it mean?
📚 = library event
🍊 = recurring event
🍻/🍷 = get your drink on
🎵 = live music (for adults)

This email is the weekly greatest hits, but shittymomguide.com has the fuller version: all the events in one place, plus the evergreen stuff, the splash pads, the always-open spots, and a tip line to send in stuff. Bookmark it for the days this isn't sitting in your inbox.

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As always, if you have anything you want to submit (events, news, hacks, recipes), feedback or hate mail, feel free to hit reply.

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Much love and caffeine,
Frances